Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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