There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
