Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
