was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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