forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
