all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
