There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
