i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
