Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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