i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
