and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
