What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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