she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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