My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dick very happy bro
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
