but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
