A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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