Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
