How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
