I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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