i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
