Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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