What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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