So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
