We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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