No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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