Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
PANTIES FOUND
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