i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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