it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
