my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
