nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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