3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
