This girl is more easily done than said...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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