Can Purell be used as lube?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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