Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
