That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
