I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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