I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
