Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was like eating out sand paper
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
