Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
