I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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