she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
