All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
