You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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