So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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