i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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