My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When are your genitals available?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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