what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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