Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
