oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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