out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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